I love my daughter but I don't know if I can keep going like this. Am I an awful mother?

sounds to me you love her very much.why else would you be alarmed at not being able to do for her how you choose to.she is your daughter and in order to learn how to do things you have to do them.it's instinctive for most mothers.i think your family is bringing you down.i would go and struggle a little and be with your new family, (boyfriend daughter and you)to prevent such stress.hormones play a huge factor on new mothers,so just go with the flow .when you feel the way you are feeling it is love.when you could care less then you question if you have love.